well i know i haven't updated in quite a while, time has been scarce and i have been incredibly busy, especially this week as i prepare for our trip to arizona and our havasupai falls hike. i have a mix of emotions about this trip. i am really excited, as i have never hiked before and it has been years since i have been camping...and i've never actually camped like this before. i know many of you think i cannot do this and am not equipped for such outdoorsy experiences, but i am hoping to prove you all wrong! i am also a little nervous, for the same reasons as mentioned above. but i am very much looking forward to this trip. it is a hike that sean did at least once and so in preparation shawn and i have been going through his old pictures and getting excited about what is in store. sean always wanted to take a group of us on this hike, we even went as far as to go boot shopping one day for me. sadly, the trip never materialized, but i am so excited that i get to go now and think about what it would have been like with him there. this trip means a lot to me already, but saturday also would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. i will definitely be missing sean a lot this weekend, but i cannot think of a better way to spend that special day, and i think he would more than approve.
we leave tomorrow evening, so wish us luck, and i will be back on sunday with lots of pictures and stories to share.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
happy earth day!
well just wanted to take a minute and wish a happy earth day to everyone! remember to do something today, and everyday, to help the planet.
side note: trying to teach 14 five and six year olds about reduce reuse recycle is a tough job...even with the help of Little Critter, Michael Recycle, and Jack Johnson.
anyway...happy earth day!
side note: trying to teach 14 five and six year olds about reduce reuse recycle is a tough job...even with the help of Little Critter, Michael Recycle, and Jack Johnson.
anyway...happy earth day!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
one year
sunday marked the one year anniversary of sean's passing. to memorialize the event, the carabines hosted a group of us at main beach in east hampton. this was the first time many of us had seen sean's memorial bench, which sits under the pavilion where sean and i were married on may 3, 2003 on the same beach where sean's ashes were spread at sea. it is a beautiful bench and reads "Sean Ferris Carabine...Live life or die trying..." an amazing tribute to an amazing man.
to christen the bench, shawn and i placed a disposable camera there and asked everyone to take pictures of themselves on the bench. the photos showed a lot of emotion, happy emotion, it was amazing to see such big smiles and so much joy. it was just as it should have been, friends and family celebrating sean's life. i think it was a day he would have loved...
check out the photos on my picasa page
Sunday, April 13, 2008
wake up tomorrow...
Wake Up Tomorrow
I've got to bite the bullet
Get out of second gear
Turn off this television
Grab the wheel and start to steer
It was a hazy day but it's beginning to clear
Cause it's take it or leave it baby,
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it
I've got to wake up tomorrow and
Do something that I've never done
Knowing full well that someone
Is watching over me
This brown wool carpet
It just won't leave my toes
But the money in my pocket
Well it always comes and it always goes
There are circumstances beyond my control
But you can bring them on baby
Cause I'm back to being built to take it
And there are no perfect words
That you can say to me now
For this is no perfect world
Without you
Life is short it's been said time and again
Well it's been a year of second chances
It's been a year of saying goodbye to some good friend
And I never saw that wrecking ball waiting to descend
But man it hit me, it split me and next time it may miss me
But it will surely swing again
So you've got to wake up tomorrow and
Do something that I've never done
Knowing full well that someone
Is watching over me
I'm gonna wake up tomorrow
and do something that I've never done
And I'm so glad your the one
who's watching over me.
(nancy atlas)
this should actually have been posted yesterday, but i ran out of time. as we were all driving to new york yesterday for sean's remembrance celebration, i was listening to nancy atlas while it was my turn to drive. nancy atlas is a local east hampton musician and sean was a big fan, as am i. we have seen nancy play a few times and i have been a fan for a few years. 'wake up tomorrow' is a song i have heard hundreds of times, however, as i was singing along yesterday, a few of the lines really had me thinking of sean, which was a first. so i played the song again, this time with a different frame of mind a different scope. it brought a huge smile to my face as i realized this fit perfectly with sean's motto of "live life or die tryin'" just the whole idea of waking up and embracing everyday, which was exactly what sean did and wanted everyone he knew to do. it was a perfect anthem for where i find myself in life right now.
so on this day...april 13, 2008...one year after sean passed away, i am thinking of him and his incredible zest for life and appreciation of all things, great and small, and the impact he had on every single person he met. my dad said last year, "you could have met sean one time, and he was your best friend." and it was so true.
today we will be gathering at main beach, in east hampton, to christen sean's memorial bench and "celebrate a life" as courtney would say. there is no doubt that this year i will be waking up and doing things i've never done before and i will definitely continue to look for the adventure in the everyday.
I've got to bite the bullet
Get out of second gear
Turn off this television
Grab the wheel and start to steer
It was a hazy day but it's beginning to clear
Cause it's take it or leave it baby,
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it
I've got to wake up tomorrow and
Do something that I've never done
Knowing full well that someone
Is watching over me
This brown wool carpet
It just won't leave my toes
But the money in my pocket
Well it always comes and it always goes
There are circumstances beyond my control
But you can bring them on baby
Cause I'm back to being built to take it
And there are no perfect words
That you can say to me now
For this is no perfect world
Without you
Life is short it's been said time and again
Well it's been a year of second chances
It's been a year of saying goodbye to some good friend
And I never saw that wrecking ball waiting to descend
But man it hit me, it split me and next time it may miss me
But it will surely swing again
So you've got to wake up tomorrow and
Do something that I've never done
Knowing full well that someone
Is watching over me
I'm gonna wake up tomorrow
and do something that I've never done
And I'm so glad your the one
who's watching over me.
(nancy atlas)
this should actually have been posted yesterday, but i ran out of time. as we were all driving to new york yesterday for sean's remembrance celebration, i was listening to nancy atlas while it was my turn to drive. nancy atlas is a local east hampton musician and sean was a big fan, as am i. we have seen nancy play a few times and i have been a fan for a few years. 'wake up tomorrow' is a song i have heard hundreds of times, however, as i was singing along yesterday, a few of the lines really had me thinking of sean, which was a first. so i played the song again, this time with a different frame of mind a different scope. it brought a huge smile to my face as i realized this fit perfectly with sean's motto of "live life or die tryin'" just the whole idea of waking up and embracing everyday, which was exactly what sean did and wanted everyone he knew to do. it was a perfect anthem for where i find myself in life right now.
so on this day...april 13, 2008...one year after sean passed away, i am thinking of him and his incredible zest for life and appreciation of all things, great and small, and the impact he had on every single person he met. my dad said last year, "you could have met sean one time, and he was your best friend." and it was so true.
today we will be gathering at main beach, in east hampton, to christen sean's memorial bench and "celebrate a life" as courtney would say. there is no doubt that this year i will be waking up and doing things i've never done before and i will definitely continue to look for the adventure in the everyday.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
welcome home...
well my brother, chris, came back home after a few months in fort leonardwood, missouri for basic training and technical school with the army. it was great to see him last night, looking all fit and a little older and wiser. we just had a little dinner at mom's for him and we had such a good time reminiscing about when we were kids and listening to some of chris' more entertaining stories about the military and life in general. man, it feels so good to laugh these days...
well it is hard to believe, but we are very near the one year anniversary of sean's death and today a strange thing happened on the way to work. as i got onto the short stretch of 95 i drive everyday, a pickup truck was behind me. he had his lights on and they caught my attention in the rear-view mirror. i looked up and realized it was a blue chevy pickup just like the one sean used to drive and thought to myself "oh, that's funny". for some reason i glanced back again and was surprised to see that the driver looked shockingly like a young carabine. i laughed out loud as i thought, "now my mind is just playing tricks on me!" so then, completely obsessed, i kept looking back to see if i could catch another glimpse of the driver. he did, indeed, look like a young sean, even from his side profile! i was surprised and completely delighted all at the same time. just a little reminder that he is everywhere we go, stopping by to say 'hi' in between his new adventures...
well it is hard to believe, but we are very near the one year anniversary of sean's death and today a strange thing happened on the way to work. as i got onto the short stretch of 95 i drive everyday, a pickup truck was behind me. he had his lights on and they caught my attention in the rear-view mirror. i looked up and realized it was a blue chevy pickup just like the one sean used to drive and thought to myself "oh, that's funny". for some reason i glanced back again and was surprised to see that the driver looked shockingly like a young carabine. i laughed out loud as i thought, "now my mind is just playing tricks on me!" so then, completely obsessed, i kept looking back to see if i could catch another glimpse of the driver. he did, indeed, look like a young sean, even from his side profile! i was surprised and completely delighted all at the same time. just a little reminder that he is everywhere we go, stopping by to say 'hi' in between his new adventures...
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
27 things
well for me this time of year seems to be more a like a "new year" than anything else. i feel as though "this year" has consisted of the time from last april 13th until now, instead of starting in january. i was very inspired by this post on a blog (36 things) and decided that since my 28th birthday just passed, i would make a similar list. so here's my list of 27 things that snuck up on me this last year...
1. discovered the "art car" and much more at artscape
2. drank from a very big bowl with a very long straw at the tikibar in san diego
3. got my first tattoos
4. went snow tubing in deep creek
5. became a mac-lover :)
6. explored lots of new places with my camera in tow
7. welcomed the first great-grandchild into the emery family, sami nistico
8. had the best seats i've ever had at a hockey game
9. i slept all alone for the first time in my life...lived all by myself...
10. until i got a new housemate! i have been blessed with a priceless friendship
11. i took an online photography course and tried to hone my skills a little
12. got drunk and sang karaoke, yes, in public, thank you lauren!
13. bought a fancy hat at the fancy hat store
14. got over my gigantic fear of hospitals
15. tried a new very different hairdo
16. went roller skating for the first time in years...not quite like riding a bike
17. went to the md renaissance festival for the first time and rode an elephant
18. turned the camera on myself and started taking some self portraits
19. explored san diego...gotta love southern CA
20. watched the distance grow between my siblings and i...jackie went to cali and chris went to the army
21. spent time reminiscing with old friends in a familiar place...west river summer camp
22. made a real gingerbread house, from scratch...then left it intact until april :)
23. rode a duck (the boat, not a feathery creature) in philly
24. went to a real photography exhibit...annie liebovitz and ansel adams
25. i've found the joys and freedom of a healthy does of therapy
26. i have also found the joy and comfort of crocs, they may look weird, but man, it's like clouds of heaven for your feet!
27. last on the list, but certainly not least, i have learned the beauty and hardship of saying goodbye...
1. discovered the "art car" and much more at artscape
2. drank from a very big bowl with a very long straw at the tikibar in san diego
3. got my first tattoos
4. went snow tubing in deep creek
5. became a mac-lover :)
6. explored lots of new places with my camera in tow
7. welcomed the first great-grandchild into the emery family, sami nistico
8. had the best seats i've ever had at a hockey game
9. i slept all alone for the first time in my life...lived all by myself...
10. until i got a new housemate! i have been blessed with a priceless friendship
11. i took an online photography course and tried to hone my skills a little
12. got drunk and sang karaoke, yes, in public, thank you lauren!
13. bought a fancy hat at the fancy hat store
14. got over my gigantic fear of hospitals
15. tried a new very different hairdo
16. went roller skating for the first time in years...not quite like riding a bike
17. went to the md renaissance festival for the first time and rode an elephant
18. turned the camera on myself and started taking some self portraits
19. explored san diego...gotta love southern CA
20. watched the distance grow between my siblings and i...jackie went to cali and chris went to the army
21. spent time reminiscing with old friends in a familiar place...west river summer camp
22. made a real gingerbread house, from scratch...then left it intact until april :)
23. rode a duck (the boat, not a feathery creature) in philly
24. went to a real photography exhibit...annie liebovitz and ansel adams
25. i've found the joys and freedom of a healthy does of therapy
26. i have also found the joy and comfort of crocs, they may look weird, but man, it's like clouds of heaven for your feet!
27. last on the list, but certainly not least, i have learned the beauty and hardship of saying goodbye...
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