one year

sunday marked the one year anniversary of sean's passing. to memorialize the event, the carabines hosted a group of us at main beach in east hampton. this was the first time many of us had seen sean's memorial bench, which sits under the pavilion where sean and i were married on may 3, 2003 on the same beach where sean's ashes were spread at sea. it is a beautiful bench and reads "Sean Ferris Carabine...Live life or die trying..." an amazing tribute to an amazing man.

to christen the bench, shawn and i placed a disposable camera there and asked everyone to take pictures of themselves on the bench. the photos showed a lot of emotion, happy emotion, it was amazing to see such big smiles and so much joy. it was just as it should have been, friends and family celebrating sean's life. i think it was a day he would have loved...

check out the photos on my picasa page

wake up tomorrow...

Wake Up Tomorrow
I've got to bite the bullet
Get out of second gear
Turn off this television
Grab the wheel and start to steer
It was a hazy day but it's beginning to clear
Cause it's take it or leave it baby,
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it
I've got to wake up tomorrow and
Do something that I've never done
Knowing full well that someone
Is watching over me
This brown wool carpet
It just won't leave my toes
But the money in my pocket
Well it always comes and it always goes
There are circumstances beyond my control
But you can bring them on baby
Cause I'm back to being built to take it
And there are no perfect words
That you can say to me now
For this is no perfect world
Without you
Life is short it's been said time and again
Well it's been a year of second chances
It's been a year of saying goodbye to some good friend
And I never saw that wrecking ball waiting to descend
But man it hit me, it split me and next time it may miss me
But it will surely swing again
So you've got to wake up tomorrow and
Do something that I've never done
Knowing full well that someone
Is watching over me
I'm gonna wake up tomorrow
and do something that I've never done
And I'm so glad your the one
who's watching over me.
(nancy atlas)

this should actually have been posted yesterday, but i ran out of time. as we were all driving to new york yesterday for sean's remembrance celebration, i was listening to nancy atlas while it was my turn to drive. nancy atlas is a local east hampton musician and sean was a big fan, as am i. we have seen nancy play a few times and i have been a fan for a few years. 'wake up tomorrow' is a song i have heard hundreds of times, however, as i was singing along yesterday, a few of the lines really had me thinking of sean, which was a first. so i played the song again, this time with a different frame of mind a different scope. it brought a huge smile to my face as i realized this fit perfectly with sean's motto of "live life or die tryin'" just the whole idea of waking up and embracing everyday, which was exactly what sean did and wanted everyone he knew to do. it was a perfect anthem for where i find myself in life right now.

so on this day...april 13, 2008...one year after sean passed away, i am thinking of him and his incredible zest for life and appreciation of all things, great and small, and the impact he had on every single person he met. my dad said last year, "you could have met sean one time, and he was your best friend." and it was so true.

today we will be gathering at main beach, in east hampton, to christen sean's memorial bench and "celebrate a life" as courtney would say. there is no doubt that this year i will be waking up and doing things i've never done before and i will definitely continue to look for the adventure in the everyday.

welcome home...

well my brother, chris, came back home after a few months in fort leonardwood, missouri for basic training and technical school with the army. it was great to see him last night, looking all fit and a little older and wiser. we just had a little dinner at mom's for him and we had such a good time reminiscing about when we were kids and listening to some of chris' more entertaining stories about the military and life in general. man, it feels so good to laugh these days...

well it is hard to believe, but we are very near the one year anniversary of sean's death and today a strange thing happened on the way to work. as i got onto the short stretch of 95 i drive everyday, a pickup truck was behind me. he had his lights on and they caught my attention in the rear-view mirror. i looked up and realized it was a blue chevy pickup just like the one sean used to drive and thought to myself "oh, that's funny". for some reason i glanced back again and was surprised to see that the driver looked shockingly like a young carabine. i laughed out loud as i thought, "now my mind is just playing tricks on me!" so then, completely obsessed, i kept looking back to see if i could catch another glimpse of the driver. he did, indeed, look like a young sean, even from his side profile! i was surprised and completely delighted all at the same time. just a little reminder that he is everywhere we go, stopping by to say 'hi' in between his new adventures...

27 things

well for me this time of year seems to be more a like a "new year" than anything else. i feel as though "this year" has consisted of the time from last april 13th until now, instead of starting in january. i was very inspired by this post on a blog (36 things) and decided that since my 28th birthday just passed, i would make a similar list. so here's my list of 27 things that snuck up on me this last year...

1. discovered the "art car" and much more at artscape



2. drank from a very big bowl with a very long straw at the tikibar in san diego



3. got my first tattoos



4. went snow tubing in deep creek



5. became a mac-lover :)



6. explored lots of new places with my camera in tow

7. welcomed the first great-grandchild into the emery family, sami nistico



8. had the best seats i've ever had at a hockey game



9. i slept all alone for the first time in my life...lived all by myself...

10. until i got a new housemate! i have been blessed with a priceless friendship



11. i took an online photography course and tried to hone my skills a little

12. got drunk and sang karaoke, yes, in public, thank you lauren!



13. bought a fancy hat at the fancy hat store



14. got over my gigantic fear of hospitals

15. tried a new very different hairdo



16. went roller skating for the first time in years...not quite like riding a bike



17. went to the md renaissance festival for the first time and rode an elephant

18. turned the camera on myself and started taking some self portraits



19. explored san diego...gotta love southern CA



20. watched the distance grow between my siblings and i...jackie went to cali and chris went to the army



21. spent time reminiscing with old friends in a familiar place...west river summer camp



22. made a real gingerbread house, from scratch...then left it intact until april :)



23. rode a duck (the boat, not a feathery creature) in philly

24. went to a real photography exhibit...annie liebovitz and ansel adams

25. i've found the joys and freedom of a healthy does of therapy

26. i have also found the joy and comfort of crocs, they may look weird, but man, it's like clouds of heaven for your feet!



27. last on the list, but certainly not least, i have learned the beauty and hardship of saying goodbye...

new look...

well here's to hoping a new look will inspire me. let me know what you think.

march already...geesh

I know it has been a while since I updated and I know that some of you have probably given up on me ever updating again :) however, I have not failed at this blogging thing quite yet.

February was a pretty good month. Of course the highlight was my trip with Shawn to sunny and warm San Diego. It was so great. We were there from the 14th to the 18th. The weather was fantastic and we had so much fun. I think that we ran Jay and Jackie a little ragged with all of our running around and sightseeing, but we couldn't resist. There is so much to see and do there! We went to the San Diego Zoo (fabulous by the way), La Jolla cove, Old Town, Sunset Cliffs, Cabrillo National Monument, Ocean Beach (a cool little beach town with a lot of great shops), and, well, I think that is it.

Jay and Jackie were fabulous hosts and their apartment is fantastic! They live in a nice area close to lots of good things. We also got to see Conlon and TracyAnn while we were there, first for dinner and margaritas in Old Town, then for breakfast at Jake's (this fantastic restaurant right on the beach). It was so great to see them and catch up a bit.

I am going to try to post some pictures on my picasa site when I get them all ready, but they are not quite there yet. So I will post a link to that when I get them uploaded.

In other news, our family was so excited to welcome Samantha Sue Nistico to the world on February 21st. She is such a small little wonder and absolutely gorgeous. Mom, Courtney, and I visited last week. She is such a little darling and we are so happy she is here.


Last Friday I visited the Howes' for dinner and some card making with Stacie. I loved getting to spend some time with Mr. Simon, he is so grown up now! The little guy is walking all over the place, happy as can be, and cute as a button. I can't believe how quickly he has grown. Here is was at dinner, showing me some straw tricks while we waited for our dinner. We are such good buds!


Well that is all for now. I really can't believe it is March already, this last year has gone by so quickly and I just can't believe it. Take care and love to you all!

Ahh February

Well, as always, it has been busy around here! I cannot believe it is February already. When I think back to this time last year, boy was my life a lot different. Regardless, these last few weeks I have been feeling pretty peaceful and things have been going very well, so I can't complain about that.

So this week is quite exciting, as Shawn and I are getting ready to go to sunny, warm, San Diego on Thursday. I am totally looking forward to a little sunshine and color and fun. It will be nice to be away from work for a few days. Also can't wait to see Jackie and Jay and Conlon and TracyAnn.

Today I had my second class for CLS, which is a class I am taking through the county. It is such an interesting framework, but kind of overwhelming, really makes you evaluate what you do in your classroom and how you interact with your students. I have 5 more sessions, all on Thursday nights this spring.

Last Saturday night, Shawn, Bert, Leah, and I went to the Washington Capitals game. They lost by two points in the last few minutes of the game, but we had awesome seats in the third row and we had a great time. We took the Metro down and that was so nice, takes the stress out of driving in the city, and it was Leah's first time on the Metro, so that was nice. Plus, it's a little "green" of us, saving gas by using public transportation :) Of course, every time I ride the Metro, I think of how disappointed Sean would be that I am using public transportation and relying on someone else to get me where I need to be. He was never a big fan of the public transportation :) (But I love it...shhh)

This week I got a new hairdo, and I must say I love it! It is shorter than it was before, dark, and spiky :) I am having so much fun with it already! Check it out...




A few weeks ago, during Martin Luther King weekend, Shawn invited me to tag along with him to Deep Creek Lake to stay the weekend with Nick and Vicki. We had such a nice time. It was freezing cold, but it was nice to get away and experience a little bit of winter. That is one thing that I love about living in Maryland is that we have the beach just a few hours away and the mountains a few hours in the other direction. We did a little bit of snow tubing, which was lots of fun, but it was so cold that I only made two trips down the hill and watched everyone else's fun from the warm building.

I guess now I am just looking forward to the trip and getting prepared for that. Can't wait!